Turning 50 is a big moment in your life, but it can be depressing. Well, cheer up! There’s no need to worry.
Here are 6 great things about hitting the big 5-0.
NOBODY LOOKS AT YOU ANYMORE
Get a haircut, don’t get a haircut, wear your best outfit to the store or a pair of worn out tracksuit pants and a dressing gown… it doesn’t matter! Nobody cares what you look like, nobody finds you attractive anymore, nobody even acknowledges your existence! That’s because you’re old. You can finally look how you want, so enjoy it!
YOU CAN COMPLAIN AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE
If a young person complains everyone goes on and on about them being a moaning 20 something who doesn’t know how good they have it. If you’re over 50 you can complain about pretty much anything and people will simply ignore you. It’s just what old people are expected to do.
YOU GROAN WHEN YOU MOVE
Once you hit 50 every time you bend over, get up or sit down you groan. But it proves you’re still alive and that’s gotta be good!
YOUR BODY DOESN’T RESPOND TO EXERCISE LIKE IT USED TO
This might sound bad, but it’s not. It releases you from the burden of exercise! Whatever you do you’re not going to get rid of your stomach, so why bother? You’re free!
YOUR KIDS WON’T TALK TO YOU AGAIN UNTIL YOU’RE 65.
At first you might be a little sad about this, but remember all that yabbering on about Lego and finger paints and how great the Wiggles are? Now they just lock themselves in their room and ignore you. So, go and get drunk!
WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE, YOU ARE – AND THAT’S GOOD
After 50 you know you’re not going to make a difference anymore and whatever you’ve done, is all you’re going to do. So relax and be happy knowing that you’ve tried all you can and there’s no point in trying anymore. Go and get drunk again!